I Gotta Give You Something

I mean to post I do, but life sometimes gets in the way.

- Eric's ship completely bi passed Dora by going around it.

- I love my new dress. I wear it all the time.

- I really dislike my new neighbours noise levels. Living a really old duplex will do that.

- I must curb mys pending so Eric and I can have a decent down payment for a place to call our own where we own our own walls

- I was in Vancouver this past weekend and had blast. The West Coast finally had some weather worthy of being called summer and the girls and I basked in it.

- Something is amiss with Aaron, I just can't pin point it. It started before Eric left so I don't think his departure is the underlying issue. I have had him at the doctor's, emergency and back to the doctors. Based on the way he has been sleeping too much I took him for some blood work. I really hope I am over worrying and it's nothing but a virus or growth spurt

-I'm pretty beat. Need to go to bed soon. It's not even 9pm and I will be asking my neighbours to turn down their music.

I'm old.

Worry Much?

Note to self. Reading the news before bed, not a good idea.

I just read that Tropical Storm Dora is now Hurricane Dora.

Eric's ship is heading  in the general area of said hurricane en route to where they need to go.

How much do I need to be worried?

Did You Know...

That stress is related to cold sores?? I didn't but it all makes sense with Eric's departure this past week. I felt them coming on at the corners of my mouth this week. Usually I pop some Carmex on them and it stops them. Unfortunately, I was out of Carmex and they festered into cold sores. I am lucky they are not
big and unsightly and only I realize that they are there. But they hurt.

Naturally I googled "remedies for cold sores" and happened upon this sight. Some of the suggestions are out there. I have tried rubbing alcohol and nail polish remover to dry the suckers out. I do not recommend this. One of the commenter's went so far as to suggest ear wax as a home remedy. I wonder why someone would to try that...

I am now considering picking up some tea tree oil or witch hazel. TTO is good for just about anything so I might as well get some. I still have tea bags to try. I've read that Abreva doesn't work as well as some home remedies.

If only I had not lost my damn Carmex. And so you know, I use a Q-Tip when apply the rubbing alcohol and nail polish remover. I am not double dipping.

So stress ='s cold sores.

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I miss Eric. I am still adjusting to life without him. What I hate and miss the most is when I do the laundry. When I do just when he leaves his stuff is still in it which makes me miss him. Eventually it is only out stuff unless of course it's his t-shirts which I prefer to sleep in.

I hate this. I don't want to get all weepy here. I've been holding myself together pretty well these past few days.

I best be getting back to my laundry and second glass of wine.

Night all.

Oh and in case your wondering,   I did buy the dress. Pics to follow soon.  mailto:http://fortheluvovblog.blogspot.com/2011/07/to-buy-or-not-to-buy.html

To Buy or Not To Buy?

It has been an emotional week to say the least as Aaron and I as we adjust to life without Eric. Their have been many tears and sleepless nights. At the moment I am okay. That can change in a heartbeat, but at the moment I doing okay.

I paid someone to clean the house as I just couldn't keep up. We didn't worry about cleaning his last weekend here and tried to get in as much quality family time as possible.

I have a baby sitter for tomorrow evening. I am good. For now.

Now on a lighter note.

I have  been eyeing this dress at a downtown boutique. I am not sure if I should buy it or not.

It's on sale at 30% off. It regularly goes for $90. After tax it's $69. That's very pricey for a flimsy piece of fabric.I normally wouldn't shell out so much for a sundress. But. Of course there is but. It fits me well. I can dress it up or down. I can where a an open cardigan and flats and it's good for work. I can wear it with or without tights. It works with flip flops. And I kind of really like it.

This is where you my few readers come in. Should I buy it or not?

Kinda Losing It

It probably isn't a good idea to blog while in between bouts of crying - but I don't know what else to do. When I need to, the blog is here for me to get it all out.

He left. And I am taking it pretty hard. The stupid ship had mechanical delays which delayed Eric's departure by 4 hours. You'd think it's a good thing to get in a few more hours but throw in a cranky toddler whose nap was all screwed up it makes for a crappy good-bye. Aaron and I did go down to the jetty but left before the ship set sail as the sailing ship would've traumtised him. If his reaction to one of us being whisked away on a sea doo or boat is any indicator we know better.

I feel like I was denied a proper good-bye as my damn cell phone died as Eric called me to tell me details of where they would be sailing. He called me again (I came home and threw it on the charger) as we were watching them sail away from a look out spot but I didn't answer the phone in time and he didn't answer when I called him back.

I am taking this really hard. And will be crying a lot. I am trying not to in front of Aaron as to not upset him. I really don't know how the hell I am going to get through this. I just want to go home.

In My Backyard

A View from my bedroom window. It's a crappy picture with my cell phone camera but if you look between the two trees there are 2 deer. A lovely sight which is common in my backyard, but I hate cleaning up their poop.

early

I don't think this post will find it's way to you this morning. Mt lap top is running at 6%. I knew I'd be an hour early for work so I grabbed my lap top to sit in Starbuck's and catch up before going to work.

To say that I've been busy and emotionally overwhelmed, would be an undersatement. While I am getting used to the idea of Eric's impending departure, the idea is so surreal as to how soon it wil actucally happen. Aaron is my main concern. He has gotten super used to Eric and some days even prefers him to me. I don't how this deployment will effect him.

One thing I am not sure about is if I should take him down when Eric's ship set sail or not. I want to see it and want to support it, but it may be traumatizing to see a big warship whisk his daddy away. My first instinct when Eric leaves is to go running back to Vancouver and stay at my father's where I have an opened ended invitation (unless he has oiusequests, which he tells me before weeks in advance) and and suround my self with my Vancouver friends and immersee myself  in family, social and kids activities. There usually is never dull moment over there. Unike here. I have friends here, but the roots just aren't the same as home.

Most people in the military lifestyle make friends at their postings. I have made a few but they always move or were the gossip queens that like to cause drama and those friendships only last a season when a person's true colours come out and those are the type of women I prefer to not be friend's with or get sucked up in their drama.

I think living not too far from home I've been able to maintian friendships that normally would've fizzled. This has helped me and hurt me. If I we were at a base n the otherside of the country, Id be force to make new friends an dplan roots.

T'hings are different as I have a fulltime decent job. This means that as I am working so much, there is no time to spend money due to being tied down to work that we shoul be abe to save money for a down payment rightt? .... Ack we shall see.

I want to buy some camping gear and whisk Aaron away on the weekends getting to know this beautiful Island we live in on. If I can get my shit together and my house organized and meals planned, I should be able to go away on the weekend and come back and have stories to tell and memories to build in Arron's brain.

We shall see how this goes.  As only time will tell.